I can't leave

"I can't leave" I close my eyes and there in the black I am distracted by the images and shapes that appear from nothing to paint stories I don't remember but somehow feel familiar. It's odd, the sensations beneath my fingertips feel real, I can feel the walls of this giant city, the grass against my palms, the scent of autumn in my nose. There's something in me that knows this is a dream and another part that seems to be real to me. I lose my sense of time if I linger in here too long then I find the waking world far more strange than when I left it before. I am becoming desensitized to the regular sensations of this real place. I'm being tempted by the unfamiliar that exists when I leave here. My ability to differentiate between you and the person I've come to know in my dream has dwindled and the foggy line between when I'm awake or asleep has all but disappeared. I feel everything from everywhere and I'm so very tired. The people here only serve to hurt. I'm more afraid of the deceit here than the lies I have created for my eyes. It all feels so real there. I'm so far removed anyway that my broken soul cannot heal here. All the reminders seem to disappear when I'm gone. I think I will make peace inside there instead of here. So I lay myself down to sleep knowing this will be the last time I see this waking world. I'm trading the sensations of the here and now for some different kind of experience where I can make what I feel into what is real. I close my eyes and I think this is my dream. However, There's something here I don't quite remember seeing. Something quite unfamiliar. A being separate from me. It's not doing what I want it to do, isn't being what I want it to be. I don't think this is my dream. This isn't my dream. This is something different. I can't feel my reality. I can't pull my mind to awaken. What have I done? I can't leave. I can't wake up. Someone. Anyone! Come find me. Please. Help me. I can't leave.

-Armando Torres