"a familiar goodbye"
There's a saturated cry
to the false void of silence
I want to release
and these walls taunt me
with their poise
of immovable stillness
to the broken display
I am performing before them.
A slobbering ache of pain
and anguish
seeping through
my ethereal body
releasing
as a fifth sense of some kind,
dissapating
into the ether
leaving me,
finally realizing
I am just
a kind of vessel
for
ancient cosmic beings
beyond the here and now.
A familiar sensaton.
A call to the void.
We are just sprinkles
Of existentialism
for greater gods
trying to find
their place of purpose,
their sense of emotions
beyond the insignificance of time.
It leaves me
feeling
alone with my realization.
Perhaps
even a discovery.
Leaves me alone
having discovered a glimpse
of existential dread
and wanting to dissolve
into the liquid of reality
leaving me
with a sense of urge
pulling me through
the window.
Leaving me
and my sense of being.
Leaving the residue
of the observed
only for it
to dissolve away
among the million
and many more milions
of experiences of life and reality.
Leaving...
Something I want to follow
from where I am sitting
to where
I could crash through
the window
and fall below
in the most visceral display
of defiance my body could allow,
in the most truthful way I could paint.
I have lost my senese of identity
and want to reclaim it.
But only can
in losing it first.
I want to display something beyond
what normality has for this body,
Something that is beyond
what it can and cannot be.
Therefore,
A sense of urge is pulling me
through the window again,
something I want to follow
from
where I'm sitting
to where I could crash through
and fall below
in the most visceral display
of defiance my body can paint.
A familiar sensation.
A call to the void.
Not at all empty.
And not all
from nothing.
-Armando Torres
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