Friday, September 19, 2008
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Oh sweet Marie, I understand now why we couldn't be as I put this pen down to this sheet, its becasue I couldn't realize your sacrifice for me. I don't and won't ever deserve you so goodbye and be good as I try to let you fade as you let fade my 'I love you's'. The whispers of a past we once shared doesn't let me forget so easily and so there you stay in my faintest image. I realize now I postponed your life; realize now I was your lie and you were probably better off without us being You and I; better off without me by your side. But you were the only beauty in these sad eyes and I realize now you were better off. I understand now why we couldn't be, its because I couldn't realize your sacrifice for me. I don't deserve you so now I say I love you and goodbye. I now know I postponed your life and it kills me on the inside to know this was the way. I miss you I do but I have to look past these haunting memories that once brought so much light to my day. I miss you I do but I have to look past, so goodbye and be good. I love you."
Monday, September 8, 2008
There in the dismal glow of the television screen he finds himself crying again not because it hurts but because its there again. He sits silently inside his chair lost inside his own mind as the tv spits its blues and greens onto his face. A bottle of Jack sits by his side as his arm hangs over the armrest and his fingers dangle but a mere space away. The ice in his glass has long since melted but he prefers his whiskey warm anyway when that pain has him so torn. His whiskey stained tears roll down his face as he searches for the logic of this darkness. Remnants of the day no longer linger on his walls but the wear of the night hangs low under his eyes. His lips have not tasted a sweet touch for so long but find the bittersweet company of a warm whiskey bottle every night. The thick smell of tears and whiskey and sweat hang heavy in his room as he sits inside his own stench of bitterness to question his darkness as it knows not of his pain. Drenched in his own depressing filth he grabs that empty glass again and pours his liquid destruction again not because it hurts but because that pain is there again.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Its easier to see in the dark all those things that we find hard, all those things we would want gone but instead are there in those few moments that last for so long. Your eyes are lost waiting for past sweet things to come alive and remind you of a life once better than this.
Then the hardness of black starts to soften and you find your eyes lost again,
the reality of my life in this moment is not divided by the shutting of my eyes but instead is bled together
and somewhere the line between you and I lost its meaning and we became one in the same.
The endless abyss of all those things we missed now exists when I open my eyes and I no longer see the soft blue glow of moonlight, I no longer hear the gentle breaths of wind or feel the soft carress of things seen,
I no longer exist outside this endless darkness because its easier to see in the dark all those things we missed.