The sound of that lonely hum outside reminds me of all those lonely nights, constantly finding myself inside pacing to the dark wonders of the night.
It all reminds me of all I've ever done wrong, it all kills me, buries me and nails my coffin shut because alone is as dark and desperate as six feet below the ground with only the muted sounds of screams falling on my own ears.
I can't, won't, and never will find or understand this man I call myself; life somehow has found a way to spit on this face everytime I look up, so I lose myself inside the lonely hum outside as I pace through the motions of my loneliness.
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
Ancient dust, old rust, like a picture worn thin, I look back then to find my friend, somewhere rusted back behind the brand new, its there where I find you always, the tried and truest part of me, however and forever my friend because again and again its you I find in my weakest of moments, in my most cherished of moments, in those few seconds of brittle elegance, the delicate brushes of memory, the touches of back then that makes now so full of meaning, but however and where ever here leads I have found that which beats with me in the truest sense of what it means to finally have that one person that really and truly transcends a relation of end and will always be my friend. I again find myself somewhere back behind the new, right with the old rust, floating in the wind, gliding with the dust, looking back then to finally find that one true friend.
a birthday present; Happy Birthday Yessenia!
Sunday, May 10, 2009
I'm saving you in that kiss. I'm dying in this bliss, so as I watch you walk away from me I stand alone forsaken to myself and forever painted in anguish; there to stand frozen in pain there between that square frame, existing only for that moment, I hold it all in waiting for it to end but forge only the memories that will always stay painted, only to ever be. I'm saving your kiss inside this painted abyss only for it to exist as a moment of pure confliction, only so these eyes of mine can always say "I miss you" as they reminsce all the painful hurt. So I'm saving you in that kiss as I forever watch you walk away from me, forever painted in this painful anguish.
Saturday, May 2, 2009
"things we see"
my blood stained eyes hold weary the wear of the day and gaze out to the blur in between my face and space, only realizing for a moment existence is futile when you've forgetten about time, all the while line after line it snorts obscurity straight to the brain where all that matters fades and only irrelevance stays. oh yes, this place, is blessed, one less, thing for god and me to see, so I hang my head back again and find that place to look in and instead of finding the end, I do it all over again.