winter sea

"winter sea"
I feel my icy breath
     slide out over my lips,
          Watching as it fades into the winter air,
wondering where all the time
     has gone,
I barely even remember anymore,

I have fallen in as well
it seems,
Into the faded relics of our history,
Caught in the swirl of memories,
Spiraling to a center,
Catching glimpses of our past together,
wondering where all the pain came from,
and
where it all went,
There's a hint of misery
still,
on the icy air,
Reminding me
     that some time has been spent
Loving one another,

I feel a longing amidst this winter sea,
Of old thoughts and blurry dreams,
An old timeless kind of feeling,

There's a hint of warmth
in the spaces
between the icy breeze,
A glimmer of sun
pouring through
the cold gray clouds,

There you are,
when I turn,
To warm my hands,

There you are,
amidst this winter white,
To lean in and share a kiss.
-Armando Torres

strangers

"strangers"
You were always in my thoughts,
Never too far away,
and
Anytime I needed to see you
I closed my eyes
and
Found you in my memories,
There was a time
I knew you so well,
Knew the happiness you felt,
Knew i was the one you wanted
But now,
In this new phase,
I know only pain,
Don't feel the joy
That was once there,
I see only a stranger
Who looks at me with confusion
Wondering who this person is,
I remember the affection we had,
The intimacy of our touches,
Now those moments
Feel so meaningless
Because
What we have is so broken,
There's no going back,
Only forward
And hoping
We get another chance,

Regardless however,
     Of what the future holds
The past has been painted,
Forgiveness is the only way
If we ever hope to feel each other again,
Or perhaps,
We will remain strangers
In the end,
Silent in the same room,
Avoiding each other
Until all that remains
Are memories in empty spots,
To never need you again
When i close my eyes.
To not find you in those thoughts,
To move on
And forget everything i forgot.
-Armando Torres

relics of antiquity

"relics of antiquity"
There's a part of me
that is scared all of this
     will go away,
That one day
I will be sitting silently
     wondering where it all went,
Left thinking back
from a silent room
watching your echoes
     move about my memories,
Looking at the spots
     you used to sit,
Remembering when you
     used to kiss me,
Asking myself
     was it all real?
     Did any of it ever happen?
     Or did I just imagine it?
The thought of not having you
     with me
     makes the world
     feel so heavy,
I don't want to experience
my life without you,
I don't want to sit inside memory
Remembering
Relics of Antiquity
     from a life we once had
     together,
I want to experience you now,
To taste you on my tongue
     and hold you near,
To feel your breath
and hear your whispers
and know my heart
     is safe with you.
-Armando Torres

salt and pain

"salt and pain"
There was a poison
     I allowed to drip
          through
               the cracks
                    of my depression,
Onto my soul,
     And over the years
this awful hole appeared
          that left me open
               to all of my fears,

The essence of who I was
     Became lost,
And the strength to find it
     Fell away,

I was left with nothing
     But the pain,
The constant sting
     Of poison burning through me,

I lost some of the innocence
That was my personality
And traded it for cynicism,

I look at my past
     And Only
Remember the painful experiences
     That I'm convinced
Define me today,

I wonder then,
     Where are all the happy,
          Joyous,
               Memories,

I'm always back
To the bad things in the End,

Maybe its what I've chosen,
     Or perhaps,
It's all that's left,

Just droplets,
     Of Salt and Pain.
-Armando Torres