Monday, December 31, 2018

those Glowing eyes



"those Glowing eyes"
I sit and write 
my very last words; 
for these words 
have come on their own accord 
to describe the hidden horror 
that surrounds me this very moment. 

My eyes 
this night 
bleed 
these invisible tears
that painfully burn away any hope of sleep.

I cannot escape anymore 
for the darkness surrounds me 
all around. 
And the voices
     -Oh my god those voices, 
whisper deep.
all My secrets
I wish I no longer knew,

The voices tell me My darkest thoughts,
charring my mind
and burning deep 
to where all exists 
as only a distant memory. 

Existing now inside a cesspool of lonesome questions  
I finally see those glowing eyes. 

They burn with searing red 
inside my head, 
for those eyes exist only
to haunt me this night.

The darkness of black 
drips down the walls 
and the silent moans of the wind creeps in; 
For the darkness has me deceived that I cannot leave.

I hope for something more but only see the dripping darkness,
I wait for something more but only see the glowing eyes,
I see only the haunting lies of my life. 
And Nothing more.
-Armando Torres

Friday, December 28, 2018

A single solitary tear


"A single solitary tear"
I live with this pain 
inside, 
everyday of my life 
and every time 
I stare at the ceiling 
lying awake at night 
I drift away 
from everything 
that is and was 
and finally realize 
the early morning frost forming on my window, 
staining these eyes with what seems 
like, 
forever.

Just falling 
into that single solitary moment 
where time seems to count for nothing. 

All I feel 
is the emptiness 
of hollowed out memories 
of a life not worth living 
And Yet, there, where I look, 
the early morning frost 
begins to form. 

Droplets  of icy water
streaks down the glass 
leaving their trail 
For my eyes to follow, 
not caring if the world will notice, 
just existing for these eyes to hollow. 

Every time 
the night grows long, 
this pain inside 
streaks down my face 
leaving a trail not worth noticing 
and yet still,
the early morning frost forms. 

Thin crystals of ice reach into existence from the edge of the window
waiting for me to find that solitary moment, 
only existing for that one brief instant 
to stain my mind 
and make me see
here in this mirror 
my single solitary tear. 

Drifting away from everything 
and realizing finally 
my pain poured 
into this single tear,
   holds 
the truth 
of how vain it really is. 
-Armando Torres

the divide


"the divide"
It's simpler in the dark
to see
all those delicate little things
that we found so hard,

all those foolish things
we would want gone
but instead
are there,
lingering,
just beyond the edges of perception,

     so as the endless black caresses
I find these eyes lost inside again.

Where the past comes alive
manifesting from the walls
and becoming reality
my mind so helplessly sees.

Somewhere inside all that ever is, was, and will come to pass,
     these eyes open again
and I exist once more
within the darkness,
finally realizing
its simpler for me to see
in the dark,
     all those things I missed.
-Armando Torres

Friday, December 21, 2018

sense of time v2.


"sense of time"
i stay frozen
     in a single position.
fading perception
and
losing
     all sense of time.

barely even moving
nor wanting,
just waiting
as the world just blurs from view.

i sit here like stone.  unmoving.  just staring.
seeing only memories
that fall away so easily
at any thought.
blowing away with the breeze of remembrance.
-Armando Torres

Sunday, December 16, 2018

old pain


"old pain"
I sit in silence this night once more,
     pondering the pain,
Lingering
inside the vacant space of thought,
hoping perhaps an answer exists.

I can see now
how someone can live in sorrow,
drinking down moments of regret,
as to not think
     perhaps those mistakes
          that were made
               would have been
                    all the difference.

I trade the calm for the chaos of silence,
where the silvery veil of thought
pulls back,
falling gently,
before letting me
melt away
     into oblivion
     once again.
-Armando Torres

Monday, December 10, 2018

I forgot to feel v2


"I forgot to feel"
it lost itself somewhere behind these eyes of mine,
some kind of sorrow I forgot to feel,
its there somehow
and yet
perhaps
it is not,
maybe its what I tell myself
in those lonely moments
where nothing exists except me and my thoughts.
The darkness lingers longer than it should
with the swell of tears brimming at the edges
but I just hide it deep
so far beneath these eyes of mine,
that somehow
it lost itself somewhere,
some kind of sorrow I forgot to feel,
even though I know
I did not.
-Armando Torres

yore



"yore"
When I finally
realize
time is not kind
to those wishing
for more,
I hope I die,
A Death
of a young man
whom had his whole life
ahead of him
Stuck in a lucid illusion
of what it was to live a life
long and weary.
A life long enough to linger around
and remind of all his years,
to finally feel the folds of skin
on his face
forming those rich deep wrinkles
from years
he forgot to live.
-Armando Torres

Thursday, December 6, 2018

One leaf left v2.


"One leaf left"
The last Autumn breath
     slides it's soft caress
          across my face
               as it gives way
                    for the hard cold of winter's chill.
On the gentle sways of silence
               a painful gray hangs heavy
          on the icy air
     as the trees become barren of all their leaves
except for one.

               I see this one leaf left.

My eyes gloss over
as they hold
on the delicate fluttering
               Of this single leaf,
at the edge of it's absolution, just
clinging beyond the inevitable.

This leaf,
     holds and sways
     in defiance of winter's breeze,
And as winter waits
behind a shimmering veil
of dancing white,
               my eyes cling to this single leaf.

As I fight
     the swell of time
that has begun to drip
          to the very end of my lashes
to see this one leaf left,
A sharp cool wind
     swims in past the empty branches
          toward this last leaf.

Fluttering
     And
Flipping,
   
     Its stem is ripped away
          From it's home.
                                   My eyes shoot upward
                with this leaf,
                                   watching it dance
          across the sky
                    And as I do
         These tears of mine finally
Begin to fall.
-Armando Torres

Wednesday, December 5, 2018

"a hint of winter" v2.


"a hint of winter"
a cold grey lingers at the edges
     of everywhere I look,
a hint of winter hangs on the air
bringing with it
a crisp freshness
that courses through my lungs,

I see winter creeping in
and there's now a hint of memory
on the cool air,
reminiscent flashes of a past I once knew
but I never know anymore,
only remember now just enough
to feel the desolate pull
of what once was,
at the mercy of this winter wind
    just hoping for another glimpse.
-Armando Torres