Monday, May 16, 2022

I don't Regret You






"I don't Regret You"
I still think about you
     -sometimes,

It's fascinating
how your memory 
isn't even an image anymore;
     but more like
     a ghostly, faint shape,
     far off in the distance,
          surviving on the smallest hints
of remembrance.

My mind won't let you die
and every so often 
you come up 
to the forefront 
of my memories
     with such terrifying vibrance
     reminding me
why I left.

I don't regret me leaving
     only that I invested so much.

I don't regret having to look 
     at an empty apartment,
I don't regret having to pack my things,
     pulling down pictures and leaving behind
          the ones that would bring memory,
I don't regret the evenings
     together on the couch,
          snug with our favorite blanket,
I don't regret our small moments
     or the nights we had
          where we bared our souls
     and we got to know
more
than anyone before,
more
intimately than anything 
     we had ever shared before.

I don't regret the pain 
     of having to move from our home,
     or living in the empty remains of a home ruined,
I regret only having invested so much
because 
somewhere 
my intent did not line up with my heart,
     And we both deserved better.

I hope you found the happiness
I could not find 
     to provide,

I knew then what I still know now...
I don't love you
but I also 
     Don't Regret You.
-Armando Torres

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