A pointless speck

"A pointless speck"
A dark sky hangs overhead
peppered throughout
     with tiny bright specks,
I tilt my head back
aiming my eyes
toward the infinite black above,

All these points of pale light
reflected inside my eyes,
A section of ancient cosmic time
     whittled down
          to a spectrum of irrelevance
By a fleeting existence
that hopes for happiness and meaning,

I thought I found my meaning
for my life,
Just to watch it erode
right before my eyes
to a pointless speck of pale light,

So many moments
underneath this dark sky
whittled down
with countless other pointless points of my life,

I should have said sorry,
I should have said so many things,
I didn't mean the words that you heard
They were useless sounds
I regret ever occurred,
So many things I wish I did right,
you were,
      in the end,
Just another point of pale light
among so many others,
I don't blame you,
I'm closer to a ghostly shroud now
than a man,

As this disease eats away at me
I find there are no meanings
Only
     moments outside of my ethereal body,
And Inside
Only
     the illusion of emotion within my heart,

This dark sky will never feel this moment,
Never experience this blip
Of life going out,
Never see this pointless speck of pale light.
-Armando Torres