broken bare

"broken bare"

My misery feels as if it has always been here,
There's memory now 

lingering on the air, 

a longing 

for a joyous time that is no longer,

My sorrow hangs low on my face
Sinking my eyes into their holes

and sagging my age over my skin, 

I look tired because i am tired,

My mind slowly declines into despair 

as the ache of my life hits suddenly and often,

I haven't seen a day 

without the twinge of gray everywhere 

in such a long time,

My misery hides behind these joyous eyes,
Behind outstretched smiles,
Behind my lies of happiness,

I no longer want to say anything or let my inner self out 

because i feel i will further 

be deconstructed,

I have been stripped down and broken bare,
I am only a shell of what i was,
I hold on to what precious little i have of myself in secret,
Away from all the things that would have what is left erased 

for their own personal gain,
To bend and break me to their will 

until i am no longer me 

but instead who they think i am and should be.

-Armando Torres