looking back

"looking back"
As much as I am ready to leave
there is a scary sadness
trying to creep in,
I feel it at the sides of my eyes,
a pressure trying to swell,
I want to cry
but need to know the answer to why
before these tears can fall,

For now,
they just linger behind these stares of mine
as I stretch my lips into smiles,
for all to see.

I suppose change is the reason why
and even though
whatever
this
future
holds
for me,
      is exciting,
I look back and see a history
that at one point felt like home.

There will be a point some time in the future
where I will walk among these sames spots
with the echoes of memory flooding through,
and finally these tears will fall.

But for now,
I'm caught
looking back before the time has passed.
-Armando Torres