only a tear away

"only a tear away"
I was fooled by the lonely illusion of thought of actually finding 'you'; you were nothing more than a reminder of my lonely life, nothing more than an exercise in delight. We felt right together but the fabrics of responsibility seemed too much in our infant state and you became nothing more but my reminder that life laughs coldest when you cry the loneliest tears. I found you only to not have you because this glass wall is too hard and too high to climb. So its here at my crossroad of life that I find you only a tear away; I miss you I say and you can see it only a tear away.
-Armando Torres

the Kiss that never Ends

"the Kiss that never Ends"
Even though I live most of the day without your kiss I find myself existing inside the small moments shared by our lips, wanting nothing more but to have those kisses to last for always. We kiss and we hold and waste the day with nothing more but the moments in between. I hold the air that lies intertwined between our tongues as we slide past one another until finally that air escapes our lungs where the moment finally lives its last seconds; and it is here at this time again that I start my fantasy again, where your lips contain the kiss that never ends.
-Armando Torres

through this pen

"through this pen"
I have to find myself in the right state of mind to write these words that I find, so to cry my tears through this pen my lonesome thoughts forsaken from the world and forged of things not. I somehow found being bound by my despair keeps me bare enough only to stare away and find these words to say; the empty air hangs heavy inside my room because it is how I find those forgotten thoughts which hide behind all the distractions the world has brought. Somewhere in the empty light that lingers I daze into obscurity and lose my mind only to find it a lonely thought away, only to feel it one single tear away; and I cry, I cry these words through this pen all the thoughts of forsaken men.
-Armando Torres

Was Once but Now Just Was

"Was Once but Now Just Was"
There in the tattered weathered walls, in between those fallen desolate halls, right there beside the peeling paint and somewhere inside this dreary place lies in a different time, in a different life what it was once but is now just was and because time has washed away and has left what is, its many moments slowly slide further from this abandoned place leaving only the hollow silence of forgotten whispers, just enough to remember life lived through, just enough to feel the desolate pull of everything that once was but now exists only as everything that just is and will never be again. So I walk through with echoed steps and the soft ringing in my ears, with the stillness of forgotten elegance and the secrets too soft to hear; looking for the tears this place has shed and find them in places no one would ever care to look because what once was is just enough to be remembered. My eyes find the forgotten corners, the crying walls, the fallen floors and the empty halls. They find the tears that were shed so long ago with no one ever to see them, to be as a ghost and find existence as a hollow reminder on the tips of whispers that it was once but now just was.
-Armando Torres

a pointless speck

"a pointless speck"
I found the meaning of my life just to watch it erode right before my eyes to a pointless speck of pale light shining in the distance in a black sky sprinkled with countless other pointless points. I had found it just to be fooled once more by all my expectations and now find myself in a tender position. A dark sky hanging overhead peppered throughout with tiny specks letting through the faint reminder of everything Ive ever got wrong but shining down a flawless hope like the tip of a diamond only to be ripped away everytime I hang my head down so low, hung heavy because I watch my meaning erode into a pointless speck of pale light.
-Armando Torres

A Chance

"A Chance"
I wanted a chance with you, just a chance. It was over before it ever started and thats why the tears fall on the inside. I wont let you see me cry, I wont let you see these feelings die, you will just taste the painful hurt on my face. Just the empty stare of a broken man, barren and bare, watching you leave with my smile hidden behind those sad eyes of yours because we both know all we needed was a chance, just a chance. I cant see you anymore through this foggy stare, they finally got out and you cant ever see them because your life doesnt need them, it doesnt need me. There's no longer room for that once beautiful secret you gave my eyes everytime I spoke a mile in words, no more room for your smile you hid away from the world and lovingly gave to me. No more and never because our chance is nothing and nowhere. All I ever wanted was a chance, just one chance.
-Armando Torres

I can still...

"I can still..."
I can still taste you on my lips, I can still feel your hand rub mine, I do and still miss you. The day changes for night, the night for day and again we hold our breaths as the end approaches just so we can say goodbye again. We trade today for tomorrow, tomorrow for right now and a little later I can still taste you on my lips. The soft touches of your silky kisses, the shared seconds our lips share and I do still miss you. I close my eyes and lay alone and finally know where that big empty hole no longer is because there in those sensual seconds we shared, I can still taste you on my lips.
-Armando Torres

Its always been You

"Its always been You"
Its you, its always been you and somehow I've been lucky enough to find you. Its in these moments that I can feel my life put together the pieces and get better; its in these moments I find myself again and say hello again and finally come up for air and breath again. I find myself everytime you smile and grin, everytime while I realize its been you and its always been you, everytime, everytime you smile again. Only for those lucky enough to find it I find myself today as you smile and say, its you, its always been you.
-Armando Torres

holding on

"holding on"
there they are, existing fresh for the present glorifying the past with better times, trying to relive a moment in pure obscurity but find only the deep empty hole in your chest where your tears fall. not holding on you let go realizing the overwhelming hole of one and alone and finally grab hold a moment of pure obscurity.
-Armando Torres

That Life

"That Life"
You said goodbye and closed your eyes
and faded away from that life,
You stayed strong for so long
and died a man with all wrong.
You lost everything at the end
just to find there was nothing left,
just to find the empty face of death,
just to finally realize all the wrong you had left.
We all walked that line in that life
to meet an end of demise
so to say that we died
at the end of our life,
but you saw it all for nothing matters
no regrets because nothing matters,
so you say goodbye and close your eyes
and finally fade away from that life.
-Armando Torres

my mistakes

"my mistakes"
I woke up today smiling to the early morning never realizing the mistakes to come, never seeing the warnings to and from just forgetting and waking again hoping today brings another one just another one like this. I forget to miss the day and see the point of not knowing what to miss then somewhere I find myself smiling to the early forming day even when the dim glow of the softly lit crescent in the sky drips on only one side of my face, even when realizing those mistakes have come and gone and some still here I still just find myself here with sickness in my stomach smiling because today I woke up smiling to the early morning never realizing my mistakes to come.
-Armando Torres

it was a beautiful day

"it was a beautiful day"
We locked eyes in that one beautiful moment and in an instant melted the rest of the world away and for that, it was a beautiful day. Clouds hung heavy overhead and gray seemed every which way but in that moment it was a beautiful day; we forgot about the icy roads and the snowy sidewalks, the bitter cold and the small sharp rocks, we forgot and found the day. Never noticed the cold breath lingering before our faces or the winter hues in between the spaces. Never noticed for your eyes seemed to feel me on the inside tasting my very core salivating on every flavor and in that moment we lost everything just to exist inside each other's eyes.
-Armando Torres

Separating Line

"Separating Line"
The sky is oh so gray today and the hills so white its hard to find their separating line. It all hangs oh so low like milk poured from the sky, like white sheets draped over their separating line. Just a moment of pure blended shades of gray forever rubbed into obscurity behind those times whom have separating lines.
-Armando Torres

Placebo Effect: A Poetry Anthology

Hello faithful readers. I know Ive been somewhat absent in posting but I cant force creativity.

Anyway, Im here to tell you that I published a book of poerty and if you would like to buy it, here is the link.

Placebo Effect: A Poetry Anthology

Its a collection of poems Ive shared with you on this blog and other pieces that Ive kept private but decided to include in this book. I didnt make the book to become rich or famous or none of that crap. I wrote the book as a hobby and would like to share my thoughts with you and if you feel like sitting by a fire or on a sunny beach or in your backyard and wander through my thoughts then this is the book for you.

Placebo Effect: A Poetry Anthology

I died again...

"I died again..."
I'm a hollow shell of what I used to be. Long nights is how I live with bloodshot eyes and empty rooms. Empty nights and full moons. I died and didn't even notice. I died and didn't even feel it. I'm somewhere between what is and was while will be is only something for those who haven't died. And there I forget where I am and become dead everytime I remember again.
-Armando Torres

Cigarette Tip

"Cigarette Tip"
Steam rises from his lips like a cigarette tip amidst winter breeze. His eyes frozen solid inside cold hardness and his nose seized in icy chills that slice across his face. And yet he stands there like a burning tip amidst a winter breeze, like a red glow burning hot embers, a red slowly withering away as the silky lines of gray rise into the icy air and still he stands there. Somewhere hidden behind the falling white flakes lies what his eyes have found and thus have died a death frozen not in time but there where everything dies. The winter's knife edge pierces the very fabric of his reality as it slowly slides past cutting with icy precision that which he looks out to. Like a cigarette tip, burning not red embers but for today, just this December away.
-Armando Torres

Snowflake Splendor

"Snowflake Splendor"
Sitting inside as it snows with windows closed outside, the cool breaths of winter hit the edges of her pane and there the soft fog forms. And somewhere in that December white she sits in silence shedding tears for something that feels so far away. The soft yellow glow of her bed side lamp glitters off her diamond-like teardrops as they roll to the curves of her face. Alone feels so alone this time of year when your face is all she sees. Pain feels so painful when she feels only the echo of touches. The sky slowly falls outside and settles softly on the cold icy ground. Crystals of infinite shapes crack the monotony of her window and the forever gray paints a somber white picture of her December winter. The bare trees back drop the falling scenery as her eyes look out to the dying light and she sits in darkness to shed tears of snowflake splendor.
-Armando Torres

Age of Innocence

Forever Never Happens

"Forever Never Happens"
There are no rainbows or butterflies in her beautiful lie only the long empty look of her eyes. She sits drenched inside lonely gloom dripped through her apartment window, crying for the day to return. The sounds of silence deafen her within the haunted echoes of muted seclusion. She is loneliness personified soaked in lugubrious despair. Forever never lost in the moments of here and then when the beginning is only her end. She is no longer eighteen forever. No longer that sweet girl she so remembers in those moments of hollow stares. The long shadows have grabbed at her heart as she clings to the soft gloom that softly pours through her window hoping inside deep tears everything will pass. She is no longer eighteen forever because forever never happens.
-Armando Torres

Somewhere

"Somewhere"
Somewhere beneath these stars I stand a man looking back into the black that lay in between the pale specks of light spattered throughout the sky. Somewhere there exists a lonely point of pale light shining its whole existence into my eye in a flickering moment of irrelevance. And somehow I find those memories that add relevance to these moments under the dim points of flickering light. For my chest fills with something more than the cold night air and my eyes let fall something more than just tears. And somewhere beneath these stars I stand a man shining back his lonely point of pale light.
-Armando Torres