Oh God, Why

"Oh God, Why"

On a midnight stretch of time

sleep seems to escape me.

So, I reach for another drink

but find my glass empty.

I lumber toward the kitchen

but before I do

I have to take another piss,

and as the light illuminates my eyes

I see my gnarled reflection in the mirror.

A tired and battered face,

unshaven with deep, dark, sunken eyes.

The mirror grows lips and whispers

     come here.

    Look at you, just pathetic,

    How can you let yourself live?

    There's nothing waiting for you tomorrow,

    There's nothing for you here today.

Fuck you! I'm not listening to what you say.

I'm okay.

I got this.

You're not real.

    Oh, I'm real all right.

    As real as your pathetic face.

    Look, there, in the kitchen,

    Just go have another drink,

    I know you want one.

    It'll be okay,    

    Just think about how tomorrow will come again

    and you'll feel like shit again,

    but at least it's not the end right?

    Remember where we put the gun,

    in the drawer

    next to the bed,

    Remember, we did it, together.

    It's still loaded.

Shut Up!!

I'm not listening to you,

Whatever the fuck you are.

You're not real.

You just can't be.

You're just in my head.

That's right, I just have to get a grip.

I'm just gonna...go have 'nother drink.

Then I can sleep

and forget about all this,

about tonight.

Tomorrow will be better.

    Hahaha! Yes, tomorrow will be here again.

    And I will come with it.

    You think you can drown me out?

    I'm with you until the end,

    So go ahead,

    Have another drink again,

    I'm not going anywhere.

    It's inevitable

    Because you have already made the choice.

    I've seen it happen.

    I'm just here to watch it again.

    Maybe I can even pull the trigger this time.

ShutupShutup!!

I can't listen.

Why is this happening?

    You know why.

Yesss...I do. Oh God.

    Then stop hiding

    behind ignorance

    and fucking drink another drink already

    and get it done.

Oh God.  Why is this happening?

    Just do it. 

    Don't question it.

    Everything has already been decided.

    You just need to follow it.

Okay....

okay.

Just shut up for a quick second

so i can take this drink.

    Good.

    ...good.

All right. 

Lets do this.

Where is she?

    In the bedroom

    Where you left her.

That's right.

    Yes.

    All tied up.

Nowhere to go baby.

    Time to do it.

Yes.

To do it again.

    Yes. Do it.

There's always another one in the end.

    Do it!!

-Armando Torres