for always

"for always"
My head hangs heavy
toward the ground,

The sounds and colors
of the world
melt away,
          and my mind
     exists now
     purely on the periphery
     of where
     reality and time
     split,

I don't notice the soft breeze
swirling through the trees
or
the leaves of every shade
of orange and brown
dancing
and
jumping
at my feet,

I see only memory
as the here and now
as it slides past me,
leaving me
with these hollow thoughts,

where is it I exist
if not here...
Now,
on this bench,
waiting,

where is it
they've all gone
since the last time,

     I don't remember anymore,

I look up now
and
see the world has changed,
so much,

I do know
they've all
been gone for some time,

I wait however,
like always,
as the seasons change again,

Reminisce again
when they used to come visit,

The world has moved on from me
                        and I wait as a relic of a bygone time,

where is it
that I exist
If
                         they've left for always,

the world finally fades
and
I feel the uneasy peace
                         Of being forgotten to time.
-Armando Torres

Happy Birthday Corina

Perhaps...

"Perhaps..."
Perhaps its the gray
this time of year brings,

or
perhaps,
the way the wind
slides by my face
that I ponder the idea.

Memory seems to fade now
from the edges
and every so often
slips out
on the whispers of my breath

and yet,

I still see you in every moment.

However,
not as a relic of antiquity
of a life
once lived through,

nor
as a thing that once was

or
as something that
was once,

but rather
as a movement of now.

The memory is an illusion of the present.

Reality slowly swirls
and curves
and forms
before me
through this very moment
painting a picture
of all
that ever was,

It slowly swirls
and curves
and fades away
as it passes through
this point of existence
as if never existing at all,

Disappearing in the infinite wake of time,

only now
through this very moment
of every moment
can I remember you
for always
and find you,

because this life lingering
is but a memory,

of fleeting moments of now,

and death the realization
that now was the only moment that ever mattered.
-Armando Torres

Happy Birthday Corina