Where are You?

Where are you
because I seem I can only remember you now
and every time I look around 

I find you've been gone for a very long time.

I don't believe this world my eyes see,
all this yellow grass and those chubby bees, 

these trees of autumn leaves. 

I look around and refuse to believe 

all that this world 

would have me look upon and ponder, is this real?

only to have my answers work within the confines of my wonder.

Where did it all go because its still here
right in front of me to see.

I wish I could spend another
intimate
second
hidden
on those empty benches
kissing another kiss, with you,

but I can't find
any of the daylight
or even the bitter cold of night
like I remember.

I can't find any other day like those we took 

even though
its all
still there when I look.

My memory continues to show me my time without it all.

I linger about now and wait every year when you come here
to visit
my gravestone
but time has shown me
another summer
without you and your visit.
Where are you
because I can still remember you
but every time I look around I realize
I've been gone
for a very long time.
-Armando Torres

"If..."

"If..."
Why is it when
there are things I see
your face
it seems
always appears.
I can't hear a song
or breath the air
without the thought
of where we were
just a time ago
filling my mind
and withering my will
to move.
I could
if
by chance
live the rest
without my past
I would relish a bliss
of ignorance
and say goodbye
to regret and fear,
I should however
never forget
those moments we shared
we thought were the rest of our lives,
a whole lifetime spent
I wish I could forget
but know shouldn't
because even though
you're gone now
I always everyday
visit your grave.
-Armando

I Know Now...

"I Know Now..."
Its gone,
those days we knew
would never end.
Gone Goodbye,
all over again,
I remember because
its all still there.
it feels
as if it never left.
I wish we knew
then
how bad it would hurt
because then
love
would likely be
a game
we never played.
The taste of this
bittersweet defeat
lingers far longer
than me never knowing.
I would never know
your kiss,
never to feel the naked brush
of your skin against mine,
I would always dine
without your judgmental eyes,
being glad I lived alone,
would have sat on the couch
by myself to watch
television
and laugh with the empty room,
I would watch through
my window
as other couples passed
never knowing that game
they were playing,
but always knowing
deep down
I wish I knew
what it felt like.
-Armando Torres