Friday, May 15, 2026

always there






"always there"
I can feel it there 
when I hear a piano playing 
or when I hear 
the sadness in someone's singing, 

I can feel the delicate pressure 
behind my eyes 
as I listen 
to the elegant plucking 
of certain guitar strings, 

It's there when there's silence 
and it's just me 
and the sunset 
alone together
for a few moments 
before the blues of night 
spread across the sky
and everything in me changes 
from a barely held together 
type of strength 
to a fraying of emotion,

It releases through my skin 
and in my tears 
and the pressure that was there 
pushing against me 
that I was holding back 
goes away,

Like holding my breath 
for a long moment
and longer still
and longer
and finally 
letting it out 
the air 
in my lungs 
through my mouth
and feeling the moment again,

The relief 
cascades up my spine 
as I listen 
to the quiet swaying 
of the water 
against the shore,
the muted sounds of everything 
hang in the air 
and the world becomes quiet 
and I can feel it there 
amongst the silence,

Always waiting 
just beyond
the seconds of any given moment, 
ready 
to be pulled 
into existence 
once again
every time 
I breath in.
-Armando Torres

Friday, May 1, 2026

secretion





"secretion"
have you ever seen vaginal secretions 
under a microscope,
it's beautiful,
it looks like 
early morning frost forming 
on a clear glass window
amidst a winter's dying day
just as dusk begins to fall 
and the warm orange glow 
of a fire 
dances on the walls,
like geometric art 
stretching out
into a type of 
natural symmetry 
beyond our simple comprehension,
like flowers growing toward the heavens
leaning into the sunlight,
   arranging its petals 
   to the golden ratio,
or like grecian architecture,
with columns and walls
adorned with extravagant designs
and breathtaking textures,
it's like a godsend,
a secret message 
in another language 
that only needs to be learned,
an alluring secret
that hides behind 
shapes 
that are so exquisite,
it's beautiful 
and I recommend 
you see it.
-Armando Torres

Thursday, April 23, 2026

i need it





"i need it"
I grit my teeth 
and push back tears 
and swallow 
the scraping lumps in my throat, 
I need all of it, 
   I want the stabbing pain 
   upon my heart, 
to feel the existential flesh 
rip open and tear apart 
like a slicing knife tearing through 
the folly of my mind, 

I want to become something 
other than this, 
I don't want to find satisfaction 
in happiness, 
would rather fine tune 
to the misery 
and relish in its aftermath 
becoming something 
that looks at memories 
for the pain they contain 
and drinks it in 
as a more suiting consolation, 

I want enough of it 
so that I can justify everything 
that I have done 
and give purpose for everything 
that is to come.
-Armando Torres

Wednesday, April 15, 2026

a mere moment






"a mere moment"
a single solitary snowflake 
still clinging 
to the icy chill 
swimming on the air,
desperately trying 
not to melt away 
into a simple droplet of moisture 
that one would not be able 
to distinguish 
from the other droplets 
that are among the puddles 
under neon lights
on the sidewalk 
by the gas station,

a miraculous shape 
of geometry and nature 
coming together 
along nature's lines 
with the laws of science 
to form this extravagant design 
of beauty and form and elegance 
that no wide eyed, 
lumbering human 
could ever see normally,

details so rare 
it only ever occurs once 
and is gone forever, 
a mere moment 
so beautiful 
before it all just melts away 
with the rest 
without it 
ever being noticed.
-Armando Torres

Thursday, April 2, 2026

traces of the past





```
"traces of the past"
This is so new to me
not because this is the first time 
but just that 
it has been 
a really long time,
I'm seeing you 
in all my thoughts,
feeling you 
in all my empty parts of me,
craving 
to hold you 
as you rest your head 
on my chest,
day dreaming 
about your smile 
and the awkward way 
you joke with me,
it's growing, 
this feeling 
that I'm feeling for you
and I don't want to lose it,
it's exciting 
to have you in my mind 
right before I sleep 
thinking about seeing you 
again 
the next day,
there is a fear though 
that I may be too broken 
and it might make me leave 
without saying goodbye,
to be selfish 
and think that maybe 
you will be happier
without me,
to avoid any pain 
that I may cause you 
but then 
I let you in again 
and all that goes away,
the fear turns to hope,
I just hope 
we aren't making a mistake.
-Armando Torres

Wednesday, February 25, 2026

golden lines





```
"golden lines"
I told you that I was broken 
and instead of using it 
as an excuse 
you helped mend the pieces,
you lifted my chin 
as I looked down in shame 
and admitted
that I wasn't whole 
and haven't been 
for some time now,
you drew my gaze into yours 
and you told me 
that it's okay,

You gently ran 
the tips of your fingers 
along the cracks 
of my psyche 
and felt the spaces 
where the pieces 
were missing,

I explained 
that I had been 
holding myself together 
through the pain 
and that I had lost 
some of myself 
as the years have gone by, 
and you softly quieted 
my despair 
and said it's okay,

You poured yourself 
into the spaces 
and pulled me back together,
a golden mending 
glimmering along the erratic 
and jagged lines 
of my fractures,
spreading out
like a spider's web 
all across me 
and instead 
of using it as an excuse 
to leave 
you loved me harder 
and mended my pieces
leaving behind 
mended golden lines
that made me whole
once again.
-Armando Torres

Monday, February 9, 2026

godhead






"godhead"
There are things I have lost 
that are now 
separated 
beyond time and space,
   places I can't go 
   and people I cannot see,
I am beyond reach 
as they are to me,

So I take this mixture 
I have concocted 
that allows me 
to build worlds 
inside my mind,

Where all that I lost will still 
be with me,
and it isn't so lonely 
if I just ignore 
the fact 
that it's all not real,

But it is!

It all does exist somewhere 
on some kind of plane 
in some far away place 
where the actions taken 
by the things created here 
are beyond my own influence, 

If I just don't impose my will 
onto them 
then they will act 
of their own accord,
then they are real, 
it is all real, 

I am then 
like a god 
and they are beyond my will,

They exist as their own beings 
because they will it to be
and not me,

And so, 
I am no longer lonely 
when I have all this love 
to give 
to all my children,

they are all real
and I am like a god
all born by our own 
divine will.
-Armando Torres

Thursday, February 5, 2026

i miss it...





"i miss it..."
I miss the years 
where simple things felt different,
like when a movie was coming out 
on the big screen 
and people had to wait 
in line 
just to get a ticket,

or when a group of people 
at a small venue 
had infectious energy 
for the local band 
that was playing,

I remember video rental places 
and renting something new 
without having to form 
any kind of opinion 
other than 
excitement 
before I even had it in my hand,

or small businesses
having more random 
live music sessions,

I liked it better when 
the internet was mostly still 
just beginning 
and opinions 
weren't considered factual,
when online arguments 
were still mostly pointless,

I like the years better when 
there were TV shows on 
actual TV channels 
and watching whatever was on 
instead of scrolling through 
endless menus,
having Cartoon Network on 
and watching Dexter's Lab 
or discovering anime 
for the first time on Toonami,

I can still remember 
working my job 
and looking forward 
to when new music came out 
on a Tuesday 
and this way 
I could have something 
to listen to 
the whole week,

or burning CDs 
and making the sickest playlists,
fine tuning the selection 
and finding the perfect order 
to place them in
so I never had to skip,

I miss the years 
where I felt happier 
in a shitty world 
because the small things 
just felt more important.
-Armando Torres

Wednesday, February 4, 2026

it's happening





"it's happening"
It happened, 
you exist now 
in that space in my mind 
where I think about you 
all the time,

I think about 
how you rest your head 
on my chest, 
the way you smell 
when I put my nose 
against your hair, 
how I crave to gently kiss 
your forehead 
and how I hold you tight 
as you joke with me,
 
Sharing our stories 
with each other 
as we laugh away 
the hours of the day,
   as the colors of daylight 
   slowly turn 
   into the hues of dusk, 
never noticing 
the light blues 
turning into the shades 
of night,
I just listen to you 
and hear about how you grew up,
     how you had to build 
your strength on your own, 
heard about the stretches of years 
where you felt so alone 
and depressed, 
how life felt its heaviest 
and as I listened 
I could feel in myself 
feeling 
how I don't ever want you 
to be unhappy like that, 
how you deserve so much more 
than that, 

How I want to take on 
that responsibility 
and try to make you feel 
your best 
everyday, 

That's what exists inside me
now,
and I'm just trying 
to come to terms with it,
because it can be 
kinda scary.
-Armando Torres