my sense of silence

"my sense of silence"

Upon this dark and dreary night

I hold a glass in hand 

with caramel colored liquor on ice

searching 

amongst a soft elegy 

of piano notes playing

for meaning 

inside my memories,

something that would tell me 

that all my mistakes 

I have made 

meant something other than 

just being alone 

with regret;

   that these scars 

   are going to matter 

   in some kind of way

   as I am dying,

My eyes gloss over

staring into oblivion 

as the darkness 

crawls in from the edges, 

I take another drink 

and venture deeper 

in search for meaning 

where there was none 

hoping I can create it 

by connecting things 

that were never relevant,

but alas,

there is only silence 

in response 

and shadows crawling 

on the walls,

only 

the stillness of the night 

answers back 

as I take another drink

staring into the void.

-Armando Torres