False Calm

"False Calm"
Nothing is as it seems, 
   a calm blue sea above 
hiding a turbulent ocean 
just beneath,
   swirling and flowing 
   with raging currents;
moving and stretching 
the all-consuming fears and anxieties
of living life;
hiding 
a kaleidoscopic dance 
of formless emotions
just beneath 
a delicate surface tension,

Slipping and moving 
into the gaps of recollection
down amongst the deepest darkness 
inbetween all manner 
of slumbering monsters and beasts
with each 
representing 
some kind of part of me;
   all hiding away 
   among the deepest leagues 
   in this sea,

Though, the surface 
an ocean as serene 
and calm 
as the black lakes 
of the tower guard cities 
of Midraneen,
an ancient history 
hidden behind 
the foggy veil of time,
   with so much trying 
   to crash through 
the stillness of memory,

Raging waves pushing 
   and swaying,
screaming to break through
but I hide it all 
with clever tricks, 
   discipline and training,
for I cannot let my emotions 
dictate 
what little control I have left,

However,
the rhythmic pull and swell 
of calm ocean waves 
turn into crashing, roaring surges 
as they reach 
the shores of my mind,
slamming against the endless cliffs 
of all my thoughts 
throughtout all of time,
   shaping and molding 
   the coastal stretches of memory 
into relics long since forgotten,
it becomes difficult to hold
it all together,
to keep things in perspective,
nothing is as it seems anymore,
nothing feels real,
   nothing is like 
   it was before.

-Armando Torres

eternal recurrence

"eternal recurrence"
Amongst the last falling autumn leaves
within the fading hues 
of amber and orange and ruby,
   the stillness of memory lingers 
   upon the silent sways 
   of a fall breeze,

Patiently waiting 
for the touch of thought 
as the cool air glides 
through the trees,

A thin barrier exists 
between the present 
and echoing memory,
   rippling 
   upon the touch of a 
   connecting mind
slowly sending out 
quick glimpses of past happiness 
and deep sorrow,
   images of passing moments 
   of when things were different,
when choices still felt full 
of promise,

Now among the dying remnants 
of autumn 
that is soon to change 
to the palettes 
of grays and whites of winter, 
the weight of life's many moments 
wraps around us 
like a thick wool blanket 
helping us hold in 
the delicate warmth we have,

   For the winter cold holds 
   no quarter 
for our sentiment 
   and at any given moment 
   will remind us 
   of the present 
and yet still 
   even with all our mistakes 
   and many regrets,
we hold steady 
in the warmth of our memories, 

Even if they do bring pain, 
and sorrow, and melancholy,
Even if the world feels like 
it has frozen your whole life 
inside an unbearable moment,
   we hold steady,
waiting for the winds of spring 
to return 
imagining the first flowers 
beginning to bloom,
we pull in the next breath and
we hold steady.

-Armando Torres